Taken for a ride?

If with an impure mind, you commit an act, however pure, the demerits follow you, as a cart follows the draft animal it is tethered to.

If, with a pure mind, you commit an act, however impure, the merits follow you, as a shadow follows a man.

Wisdom attributed to Gautama the Buddha, who accorded primacy to state of mind over all else.

I had a chance to wrestle with this today morning, as I took a cab from my lodgings in South Calcutta to the domestic airport.

The relative I was staying with, a senior citizen, had kindly fetched me the vehicle from the corner of the street, where in the quintessential Calcuttan tradition of the adda, he spends several hours a day discussing affairs of the world with friends.

As soon as my luggage was loaded and as I was about to leave, the driver touched my senior relative’s feet, asking for blessings; he said that he had spent the night at a hospital and was hoping that the day would bring better tidings.

As we started our 45-minute journey to the airport, he began, as I expected, to relate the rest of the tale. His 8-year old son had been hit by an autorickshaw a couple of days ago and was thrown, head first, on some stones by the side of the road. The driver fled, likely in fear of getting lynched, but passersby had taken the boy to the nearby hospital, where he had been given stitches to close up the wound, tincture to prevent infection and then sent home.

Trouble started on the next day when the boy began to have seizures; the anxious parents rushed him to the nearest neurological hospital.

From hereon, the story becomes a little fuzzy. The doctors tell the father that a CT scan is needed, to detect the likely blood clot in the boy’s brain, but for some reason, don’t do it. They insist that it can only be done if the parent pays a sum of Rs.1800/- for it. He pleads with the doctor that he is a poor taxi driver, who only earns Rs.20/- on every Rs.100/- fare, but to no avail.

The “good doctor” as the taxi driver calls him, then offers that the operation that will most likely follow, to remove the blood clot from the boy’s brain, can be done free of charge at a government facility, at his recommendation. But before that, the father must pay for and get a CT scan done at the earliest, if the boy is to have a chance.

Having left the hospital at 4am with this news, the driver goes to his employer, the cab owner, who refuses to loan him the money. Others who might have helped, are helpless, without the resources themselves. He must now somehow get together the Rs.1800/- needed, by 9am today. “If I have ever done any good in my life, God must find a way of helping me,” he says with what seems to be genuine emotion, his voice choking, fighting his tears.

My first instinct, when he finishes his tale, is to help immediately.

I tell him that I will, upon reaching the airport, give him what he needs to save his son.

He pulls the cab over and takes both my hands and raises them to his forehead and thanks me profusely. I tell him it is not necessary, that he must rush to his son at the soonest. He says that he will drop me at the airport and head straight to the hospital.

A minute later, suddenly mindful of whether I have the money I have offered the man, I check my wallet and simultaneously ask him how much he said the CT scan would cost. He tells me that Rs.2000/- would cover it.

The first unpleasant bell goes off in my head. Did he not say Rs.1800/- the first time? I don’t think the extra Rs.200/- is that much more, but is he taking advantage of my kindness? After a minute’s reflection, I decide it is not relevant. Maybe there are medicines to buy…

We spent the rest of the ride in silence, but his expression in the rear view mirror was still distant, stuck wrestling with the imponderable.

I, in the meantime, wonder whether I did the right thing.

Buddha to the rescue in the cab

What if he’s lying? What if he is merely a desperate alcoholic or gambler? Should I have probed more? Probably, but what was I trying to achieve? Could any answer have satisfied me completely?

Should I have asked to be taken to the hospital, where I could have then paid for the procedure in person? Maybe, but I was on my way to the airport, to catch a flight.

Having promised him the money, I had no intention of backing off, but I would be lying if I said I did not have second thoughts about whether I had done the right thing, the right way.

That is when the words of Gautama rang in my mind.

The source of my uncertainty, my confusion, was not the man in front of me, but the myriad insecurities of my own mind and it’s store of experiences; the thought that I was being cheated, my good intentions taken advantage of, of being taken for a ride, literally.

And my first instinct, to help the boy, had come from the little germ of the Buddha that I believe we all carry in us. There was no room for doubt there; under the circumstances, the worst consequence was the loss of two thousand rupees, and the best possible result, a human life saved. There was no contest.

With that frame of mind, had I only expressed my genuine commiseration with the man, and not had the money to help, I believe it would have still brought me as much satisfaction and peace.

If however, I gave him the money, but insisted on finding out whether he was lying, to satisfy my ego (of being a tough nut, not easy to cheat) I think my joy would have been lessened – even if the Doubting Thomas in me had been proven right.

This train of thought cleared my head up.

I reached the airport and gave him the cash. With no further agenda, I decided to give him too a chance to redeem himself, should he have been lying.

I gave him the phone number of my elder relative and told him to inform the gentleman about the boy’s well being when he could. He insisted on repaying the money in instalments and I told him that he was free to do so and that whatever he returned would be used to help the next person in need.

Now, its up to the man who drove me this morning, to decide upon his next act. I’m pretty sure that his frame of mind, rather than the act itself, will determine what he really receives in return. What say?